See One, Try One, Do One

Sgt.: Attention! Alright, you maggots! We’re heading up into the night sky. At 15,000 feet, you’re going to jump out of that door and float through the air like a feather with a brick tied to it! When you finish blubbering and find your rip cord, you will pull it and deploy your parachute! Or you will panic and give the earth a firm embrace. Just in case that happens, I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are almost as dear to the army as those three-hundred dollar helmets that you are wearing! Need I remind you ladies that you are expendable! If you choke on this mission we will have a replacement for you in five minutes. Is that clear?

ALL: Crystal clear, sir!

Sgt.: Rooney!

ROONEY: Yes, sir!

Sgt.: Are you ready to look death in eye with a big toothy grin?

ROONEY: I brushed and flossed this morning for just such an occasion, sir!

Sgt.: That’s what I want to hear! On this practice mission, your objective will be to jump from the plane to the ground under cover of night, preferably utilizing your chute at some point before impact. After that you will rendezvous with Bravo Company at the specified location.

SMITH: What then, sir?

Sgt.: You will be given your orders at the rendezvous point. You know that, soldier! You are on a need to know basis only! Just who do you think you are?

SMITH: I’m a greasy grimy maggot, sir!

Sgt: And don’t you forget it! I’m going to the cockpit. Be ready to jump in 5 minutes! (EXITS)

SMITH: (with his best imitation of the SGT) “Just who do you think you are?”

DAVIS: “A greasy grimy maggot, sir!”

SMITH: Stow it, Davis! You’re not looking forward to this anymore than I am!

DAVIS: I know. What were we thinking when we volunteered for this outfit?

ROONEY: No guts, no glory, guys. It’s really simple. All we have to do is what we were trained to do: Jump out of the plane, pull the cord, and tuck and roll when you hit the ground.

SMITH: That’s easy for you to say, you’ve done this already! I mean, we can’t even see where we’re falling to.

DAVIS: The ground.

SMITH: But you can’t even see it!

DAVIS: Trust me it’s there.

ROONEY: Oh, come on, fellas, you knew this was coming. Remember, what they told us: See one, try one, do one. See somebody do it. Try it yourself with close supervision and then do it! That’s where you’re at. It’s time to do it!

DAVIS: Yeah, but when we tried it, it was off a 200 ft. tower with a bungi cord. This is different. It’s night time. Now, we’re jumping 15,000 feet into the unknown!

ROONEY: It’s not the unknown, the sarge just told you what’s down there—Bravo company and further orders!

SMITH: But we can’t see that from here!

ROONEY: If the sarge says it’s there, it’s there.

DAVIS: But what if we don’t make it?

ROONEY: To the ground? Oh, you’ll make it to the ground. Everybody makes it to the ground. Some quicker than others.

SMITH: Oh, that’s reassuring. I don’t know. I just don’t think that I’m ready for this! It’s just not my time.

ROONEY: When will the right time be if not now? You’re as trained as you need to be. The only thing left is to start doing it. You’re not going to feel any more confident about the first time than now.

DAVIS: Excuse me. Aren’t you forgetting about the huge margin for error? If I don’t tuck my legs correctly, I could swallow my kneecaps.

ROONEY: Probably. Better make sure that you tuck your legs correctly, then.

SMITH: I can’t do this. I just can’t.

ROONEY: Yes you can. This is what you’ve been trained to do! If you don’t apply what you’ve learned then all the training was for nothing. I remember how much you were looking forward this when you signed up. You too, Davis! “We'll float down on Bravo company like angels from heaven!” That’s what you said.

DAVIS: That was before I truly realized what a leap of faith this is…

ROONEY: Yes, it is a leap of faith…but where does that faith lie? In yourselves? You have been given the best training possible for this. The sarge has done this hundreds of times and has trained hundreds more. Have faith in the preparation that has been given to you. You didn’t just volunteer for this mission…you were selected.

DAVIS & SMITH: Wha?

ROONEY: Didn’t you know? The mission was only offered to those who could do it. They wouldn’t have let you up in this plane if they thought that you couldn’t do it.

DAVIS: That doesn’t jive. The sarge just said that we were expendable.

ROONEY: Yup, chosen to be expendable ... just like the sarge was!
....................................................................................

© Eric Stapleton, All rights reserved

This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: eric@melodrameric.com

Crazy Viv

INT. BASEMENT -- DAY

LIGHTS UP

THIS IS A MUSTY BASEMENT BUT IT IS WELL STOCKED WITH FOOD AND PROVISIONS. DOLAN SITS WITH SOME FOOD SUPPLIES AROUND HIM AND STACKS OF BRICKS. THERE IS A FRESHLY BUILT (BUT NOT COMPLETED) BRICK WALL SURROUNDING HIM THREE QUARTERS OF THE WAY. HIS HANDS ARE ICKY WITH WET CEMENT (MORTAR). HE IS SITTING.

DOLAN
Have you ever heard of Crazy Viv?
(pause for response)
Oh, yeah, well she used to live in the corner apartment. I'm surprised you haven't heard of her. Basketcase. Of course you don't live around here probably. Well, anyway one night we hear this screaming outside. This old battle-axe comes running out of her apartment buck naked screaming, "You can't leave me, you can't leave me!" She didn't even care about who was watching.
(pause for question)
Some guy of course. It's always some guy when a woman acts that crazy. I think there was a revolving door for an entrance to her apartment.
(pause for question)
It's just an expression. I mean this lady obviously had a serious case of the stupids. I don't know for sure how many guys went in and out of her door, but anyone whose willing to do something that nuts over a guy, there's something wrong up there you know. I'll bet she had that cosmic clutch thing going on there.
(pause for question)
Cosmic clutch? That's when a person clings so tight onto another emotionally that it's suffocating. It's pathetic.
(puts another brick on the wall)
That's weakness. I don't want to be no Joey Bagalucci.
(pause for question)
He was my boy. We used to hang together, you know. He met some chick though. I mean thas cool, ya know. But she was just after his money an all though. Yeah, six months later she's not returning his phone calls. Gets herself some TV producer new boyfriend guy. Poor Joey thought he was in love with her. Six months? He got all stupid over a chick in six months?
(puts another brick in the wall)

DOLAN continues to lay bricks as if no one else is in the room. He seems to be thinking about something.

DOLAN CONT’D
Oh. Sorry, just trying to get this done here. Joey, well, he jumped off the bridge a few months back.
(pause)
Yeah, well, you know. I got other friends. That's just the way it goes though, people come in and out of your life. The idea is you can't hold on too tightly because sooner or later they're going to say goodbye. Or not say goodbye. Who wants to be remembered like Crazy Viv anyways? Runnin' after some guy or girl because they broke your heart. Who needs it? Not me. I got all I need right here. Got my cable TV, supplies, a toilet back there, and I can even call you when I want a pizza.
(pause for response)
Married? Once upon a time, yeah, I was married. I was young and foolish. I've grown wiser with age though. Speaking of pizza, how much do I owe you there?
(pause while DOLAN gets cash out of pocket)
Here you go. Keep the change. Yeah, I'm sure I'll call you again, but not because I'm lonely. I got everything I need right here. Hey, can you hand me another brick before you leave?

Dolan freezes in position while . . .

LIGHTS FADE OUT

The Napkin Man

DENNY'S -- MORNING

FUMI is sitting at the table with his coffee. The WAITER and the COOK are standing off to the side.

WAITER

Oh, it's him again.

COOK

The weeper?

WAITER

Yeah, he just comes in here and cries into his coffee. I go through half a package of napkins a night on this guy.

COOK

Why?

WAITER

He cries into the napkins, blubbering that that he's lost his way or something. He's been used up. He says God is done with him.

COOK

Well, it looks like he brought something to read today.

WAITER

That would be his Bible. He pours over it looking for a clue.

COOK

Does he tip good?

WAITER

WELL. Does he tip WELL?

COOK

I don't know, I'm asking you.

WAITER

Nevermind. OK, I guess, but it's depressing. The poor Japanese guy thinks he wants to be a pastor but he doesn't have a church.

COOK

I didn't even know Japan had churches. I thought they were all Hindu.

WAITER

Buddhist.

COOK

Same dif.

WAITER

Anyway, he came here to Hawaii to be refreshed. He thought maybe the sunshine and the beauty of this place would refresh his heart.

COOK

Did it work?

WAITER

No.

COOK

Speaking of refreshing, he looks like he needs his coffee topped off. Better bring some extra napkins.

WAITER crosses to FUMI. He sets down the napkins and starts to pour the coffee, but FUMI stops his hand and looks up at him with a smiling face.

FUMI

I won't need your paper towels today. I found my way.

WAITER

Really? In there?

FUMI

No, in here.

(points to his heart)

WAITER

I see.

(rolls his eyes)

FUMI

God hasn't given up on me. I was reminded by the stones.

WAITER

Oh, yeah, I listened to The Rolling Stones, also. I also smoked some pretty serious--

FUMI

(standing)

No, the boundary stones. I needed to look back at the boundary stones I've placed in my life to memorialize what God has done.

WAITER

Yeah.

(starts to back away)

I've gotta another customer to get to.

FUMI

God hasn't given up on me! God hasn't given up on me! He told me so! He has a plan and a vision for my life.

(quickly gathers his belonging from the table and exits the restaurant)

WAITER blows through his lips and rolls his eyes. COOK crosses over to WAITER.

COOK

He seemed excited.

WAITER

Nutso, that one.

COOK

Why do you say so?

WAITER

Acting like that in a Denny's at four in the morning.

COOK

How would you act if you received a vision from God?

Joseph in Egypt . . . Still

JOSEPH: OK, so I might have been a little arrogant.

INMATE: A little?

JOSEPH: OK, so maybe a lot. But then you wouldn’t believe what happened next.

INMATE: Probably not, but let me guess, you’re going to tell me, anyway.

JOSEPH: (unfazed by this last comment) Here, I was thinking that God was going to deliver me from the well.

INMATE: You’re here aren’t you? You must not be in the well anymore.

JOSEPH: He did but not the way that I thought that he would. My brothers pulled me out of the well only to sell me into slavery to a bunch of hairy Ishmaelites. Then I thought God had let me down again. But then when I got to Egypt, I was sold to Potiphar and it was all good. I had the run of Potiphar’s house. I wasn’t ruler over my brothers or anything like that, but I didn’t care. Everything was going smooth but then this dude’s wife tries to offer me household privileges.

INMATE: Household privileges?

JOSEPH: You know? Household privileges. Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, know what I mean, know what I mean?

INMATE: Oh. (gets it) OH! His wife? That’s pretty tricky business. Did you? You know…

JOSEPH: Land of the dead, no! I would not sleep with another man’s wife and so disgrace the name of my God. I shunned her advances and being scorned she said that I approached her! So I was thrown into prison just like that! I wasn’t even guilty.

INMATE: Oh. Well it doesn’t sound like your god is on the ball. You are still in jail.

JOSEPH: My God is still with me! I’m treated well here. Did you see what God has allowed me to do while I’ve been here? The Pharoah’s baker and wine steward came to me and God gave me the interpretations for their dreams. Was not the baker hung? Was not the wine steward restored to his position? I might be still waiting for God’s promise to be fulfilled, but in the meantime, He will still allow me to do good where I am at.

INMATE: OK, that was a pretty nifty trick with interpreting those guys’ dreams, but soothsayers come at a shekel a dozen around here and besides, so what. What’s important is that you be able to interpret your own dreams. Here’s the name of my god (hands JOSEPH a business card). I usually bow down before his statue at sunset, burn a little incense and…

Excerpt from Any Day Now by Eric Stapleton. Copyright 2006, all rights reserved.

Dirty Laundry--a short, six minute drama

Summary:
Two women meet in a Laundromat. One is joyful the other downtrodden. The conversation that ensues invites the audience to reflect that God’s grace and mercy extend to his fallen children as well.

Cast
Tanya
Nancy

Script
(Scene: A Laundromat. A woman (NANCY) is folding her laundry while humming a recognizable hymn or spiritual chorus. Another woman enters (TANYA) and starts to sort her clothes in her laundry basket.)

TANYA: (starts to look at NANCY quizzically) I know you, don’t I?

NANCY: Wha?

TANYA: I recognize you from somewhere.

NANCY: I don’t remember meeting you, but my name is Nancy, Nancy Thomas, nice to meet you (offers hand).

TANYA: (oblivious to offer of hand) No, that doesn’t ring a bell. (goes back to sorting her laundry)

NANCY: (little befuddled goes back to folding her laundry and humming that still familiar tune)

TANYA: (loudly) That’s it!

NANCY: (startled) That’s what?

TANYA: I remember where I recognize you from. I recognize you from Church. I recognized that tune you were humming.

NANCY: Oh, you mean (insert favorite hymn). Yes, that’s one of my favorites. What’s your favorite?

TANYA: Oh, well I really don’t sing except for on Sunday like everyone else.

NANCY: Yeah, I’m no Judy Garland myself. I’m so glad that I can worship Him besides singing, aren’t you?

TANYA: (not really getting it) Yeah, like I said, I’m there Sunday like everyone else.

NANCY: (a little starry eyed) Isn’t it a beautiful day?

TANYA: (pause, looks at NANCY, looks out the window) It’s raining.

NANCY: (same cheerful disposition) Yeah. Isn’t it great?

TANYA: Sure. (whatever)

NANCY: Hallelujah! (as she shows off a whiter than white, white) Will you look at how white that is!

TANYA: Yeah, it sure is.

NANCY: You know what it reminds me of?

TANYA: No, what?

NANCY: Well…God…you know?

TANYA: You mean because it’s white?

NANCY: Remember the song? “White as snow, white as snow, now I’m clean and forgiven…”
TANYA: Oh yeah.


NANCY: (she is so inspired that she has to write that insight down) Mmm. Mmm. (still writing….TANYA is beginning to wonder about this one)

NANCY: You know what else?

TANYA: No, what? (getting slightly annoyed)

NANCY: Well, it’s like the detergent is the Christ’s blood and the water is the Holy Spirit and the power behind the washing machine is God, the Father.

TANYA: Is that all you ever think about? God?

NANCY: I try to worship my God in everything that I do.

TANYA: So do I, on Sunday, like everyone else.

NANCY: (tuning in a little more) Well you know, you don’t have to wait until Sunday to worship. You can worship God every day of the week!

TANYA: Oh, well you know, I don’t feel all that inspired to worship the Lord everyday. I’m a single mom just getting by and I don’t like rainy days and I hate my job—

NANCY: That’s the best kind of worship, when it’s a sacrifice to give it. I’m a single mom also, and I’m not too fond of rainy days either. It’s just that rainy days and sunny days alike remind me that I have this day to be thankful to the Lord for bringing me out of where I was at five years ago.

TANYA: Where were you at five years ago?

NANCY: I was just divorced. My husband was an attorney and knew how to work the system to where I got nothing except my child. He successfully persuaded the judge that I was an unfaithful wife and that the child was not his and that he owed me no alimony or support for the child.

TANYA: What a creep!

NANCY: That may be, but at least he was an honest creep. You see, I really was an unfaithful wife and the child wasn’t his. I had nowhere to turn. The real father of the child wanted nothing to do with me when he found out I was pregnant. I deserved what I got.

TANYA: So, you came to church and found out about Jesus and got saved, right?

NANCY: No. You see, I was already saved. I had done all this as a child of God. I knew better. I was afraid to come back.

TANYA: (turns away…she has her own guilt weighing her down) Oh. (she clutches on to soiled clothing)

NANCY: But I found out that Jesus still had grace left for me. I needed to be reminded that Jesus died for the sins that I committed while I was his child as well. I had no idea how far I could fall even as a child of God. I found out.

TANYA: (looking down) That must’ve been hard.

NANCY: Yes, it was. But once I realized that I was forgiven again and all that was behind me again in God’s eyes and that he still loved me when no one else would, how could I not want to give myself completely to HIM!

TANYA: And that’s why you worship God in everything that you do.

NANCY: Yes. Thanks for talking to me! (gathering her last few items of laundry and throwing them in the basket) I forget that I had so much to be forgiven and had dug myself into such a deep pit and Jesus got me out of it!

TANYA: Like everyone else.

....................................................................................
© Eric Stapleton, All rights reserved This play may be performed free of charge, on the condition that copies are not sold for profit in any medium, nor any entrance fee charged. In exchange for free performance, the author would appreciate being notified of when and for what purpose the play is performed. He may be contacted at: eric@melodrameric.com

The Nature Worshipper

MARK: Oh, yeah well, of course we wouldn’t need beer at church. I mean heck, I don’t even really need it here. Just a cold one ever’ once in awhile to warsh dem tater chips down. You know? I’m sure God could appreciate that with that miracle he did with the water and the wine and all. Yeah, well you see…it’s like this...I got this great property out by this here lake. The weather has been perfect these last few weeks and I just don’t know how much longer the weather is going to be this nice. I’ve got to enjoy it while I can. I’m sure God can understand. I’ll get to church sometime. I figure that I’m worshipin’ God in my heart while I’m enjoying all this nature.

Copyright 2001 Eric Stapleton. All rights reserved.

Abiding Love

Mckenzie: …Before I started looking for love, I didn’t think that love was what I wanted, but now that I think about it, I believe I do want love. I want a love that is giving; not just out of the extra that a person has to give but a giving that costs the giver something that makes me feel special. I want a love that rejuvenates me and covers over the things that I don’t like about myself. I want a love that makes me not afraid of stepping out of my front door. I want love (out, appealing to rest of vendors [the audience]. I want fresh love. I want fresh, abiding love. (turning to AL) Well?

Excerpt from Love for Sale Copyright 2004 Eric Stapleton. All rights reserved.

The Building Project

Wife: The sky? Water is going to come from the sky!? Honey, water doesn’t come from the sky, it comes from the ground like has for hundreds of years.

Noah: Things are going to change.

Wife: (Starts to exit) Just make sure that this “flood thing” is done before supper.

Noah: My love, look at me. I’m building an ark. God is going to bring a flood. He’s going to wipe everything off the face of the earth and start from scratch. We get to be a part of that.

Wife: How?

Noah: We’re going to be on the ark. We’re going to live on the ark until all the water goes away. We get to be the ones who start over.

Wife: How long is this going to take?

Noah: I don’t know.

Wife: Where will we live?

Noah: On the ark until it’s over. After that, I don’t know.

Wife: What about our neighbors?

Noah: That’s why I’m building this ark. Everyone can see it. They’ll come by and ask what I’m doing and I’ll tell them I’m building an ark. I’ll invite them to come with us and when they ask why they should want to come with us, I’ll simply tell them about the flood.

Wife: And they’ll simply lock you up in the booby hatch! Where are you getting the money to pay for all this?

Noah: I’m borrowing it. I got a loan.

Wife: That’s going to be a lot of interest to be paying. It’s going to take a long time to build this.

Noah: It’s not like it’s going to take a hundred years to build it. Besides, they told me I could pay it back after the flood. (he laughs)

Wife: Where will we get wives for our sons? What about our future?

Noah: I don’t know. I just know that God is leading us into a future that we can’t see yet.

Copyright 2006 Eric Stapleton. All rights reserved.
This is an excerpt from the play The Building Project

The Next Level

[The following is and excerpt from The Next Level by Eric Stapleton]

STEVE: It’s like this. This yahoo with the gloom and doom message sees things from a skewed point of view as if there is only one way to understand truth and that he has the corner on it. There are lots of truths out there and many different points of view. It all comes down to preferences. Some people like to go to church on Sundays while others like to fishing. Some people like coffee and others like tea. And those are all well and good. But they aren’t right or wrong.

KIRK: So what you are saying is that we determine for ourselves what is right or wrong. I find that philosophy very useful.

STEVE: Exactly. You know my friend, I think that you are having an epiphany. What’s not ‘fashionable’ if you will, in the moral sense, today, may change in a few years. You see, we’re all evolving to the next level where we will be free of the shackles of oppressive absolutism.

KIRK: Well, I must be going. Boy all this really lifts a weight off of my mind. I was beginning to think that some of my choices in life were wrong.

STEVE: There are no wrong choices! Be free and at ease my friend!

KIRK: I really must be going. May I have your wallet please?

STEVE: (taken aback) No, you may not.

KIRK: I insist (pulls out a revolver or does the finger in coat pocket routine).

STEVE: B-b-but that’s wrong.

KIRK: Says who? Gimme your wallet.

STEVE: It’s against the law. (handing over wallet) It’s against the common good.

KIRK: Maybe in a few years it won’t be. Maybe I’m already at the next level.

© 2002 Eric Stapleton, All rights reserved
[The preceding is an excerpt from The Next Level by Eric Stapleton]

On Planning a Rehearsal

Know the play.

Determine how much time you have to put the play together.

Determine where the play is going to be performed and rehearsed (sometimes these are two different places.)

Determine which parts of the play will be the most difficult to teach/rehearse.

Make a synopsis for all scenes to determine which characters (actors) are needed for each.

Break the play down into scene sized-chunks. Plan these into the rehearsal schedule in sequential order. Allow more time for the aforementioned difficult parts of the play. Plan to run groups of scenes in order along with production numbers (off script) for actors to get a sense of flow. This is usually done with each act and then the whole play—off script.

Since every character is usually not needed for every scene not every actor will need to show up at every rehearsal…make this clear on the schedule.

Leave a week right before opening night where you will rehearse in the performance space. During this time you will start layering in costumes, make-up and technical effects (lights and sound.) This time will also include the final dress rehearsals.

Once the schedule has been planned with consultation from your creative team, get it down on paper before the rehearsals (practice) starts.

Excerpts from a Doll's Life

GIRL: I love you. You are my favorite dolly in the whole world! When we get home we’re going to have tea and then I am going to tuck you in to bed for your afternoon nap. You are my favorite dolly in the whole world and I am never never ever going to get rid of you.

DADDY: Honey, I got a surprise for you!

GIRL: What is it, daddy? (puts doll to the side)

DADDY: Well, I’ve thinking. You’re a big girl now and I think that it is time for you to have a big girl surprise!

GIRL: (jumping up and down) What is it, daddy? What is it?

DADDY: I got you your very own purse just like mommy!

GIRL: Oh daddy! It’s just what I’ve wanted! I’ll never never ever get rid of this.

DADDY: Well, let’s go home and show mommy.

GIRL: OK. (both exit)

GIRLFRIEND: (coming to sit on the bench) We have so got to see that movie again. Omigosh! That was so good.

BOYFRIEND: Maybe. There was too much kissy kissy boy meets girl, boy loses girl romantic stuff in it. I like the chase scenes and when that guy’s head exploded, that was so sweet!

GIRLFRIEND: Gross! See, I don’t think that needed to be in the movie at all. I don’t see why that gory stuff has to be in a love story!

BOYFRIEND: It wasn’t a love story! It was an action film! You don’t name a love story Death Chasers Part Four! Arnold Schwarzeneggar is not a romantic movie star, he—(sees that GIRFRIEND is getting sad) Baby, what’s wrong?

GIRLFRIEND: (sobbing) You don’t love me anymore!

BOYFRIEND: Sure I do!

GIRLFRIEND: No, you don’t. You’d rather take me to see an action film than a love story. What? Do you want to see my head explode?

BOYFRIEND: I think it is.

GIRFRIEND: What?!?

BOYFRIEND: Honey, I can be romantic, really I can.

GIRFRIEND: No you can’t. You never get me any gifts or buy me flowers like Arnold did for the girl in the movie.

BOYFRIEND: The girl in the movie was a spy and tried to kill him later on.

GIRLFRIEND: See what I mean, you think that I’m a monster! (starts to exit)

BOYFRIEND: Wait honey. I did get you a gift. Here, I got you this doll!

GIRFRIEND: No you didn’t. Some kid left that on the bench. That’s a used toy, I don’t want that old thing. (exits, followed by BOYFRIEND)

BOYFRIEND: Honey!

MASCOT: Never have to miss a call again when you sign up with Discount Wireless. Everybody needs a cell phone. Doesn’t anyone want a take advantage of this once in a lifetime offer? Anyone? If you sign up now, you’ll even get 23 free weekend minutes! I feel like such a loser. C’mon, anybody? I’ll even throw in this doll as a bonus. Anyone? Anyone? Oh, man, I’m such loser. (tries to sit down on bench, but can’t because his costume makes it awkward; looks over at doll) So, I guess no one wants you either. Hey, I’m stuck. I can’t get up. (GIRLFRIEND and BOYFRIEND walk by. BOYFRIEND is still trying to reason with GIRLFRIEND) Hey! You guys look like you need a cell phone. Hey! Wait up! (manages to get up and follow everybody else)

JANITOR: (enters with a push broom and humming tune) Ah, silly kids, leaving their toys behind! What am I going to do with this? It’s just a worthless old doll. No good anymore. Who would ever want this? Well, there is only one good place for worthless items…the trash. (starts to puts doll in trash)

DOLL MAKER: What are you doing?

JANITOR: I’m putting this old doll in the trash where it belongs.

DOLLMAKER: Don’t be absurd! That doll was created to be loved and adored.

JANITOR: What do you care?

DOLLMAKER: My card. Christopher H. Howard, designer of toys, dolls and other delights. The bringer of smiles, and the maker of dreams. (presents card)

JANITOR: (reading) Hmm. You designed this doll?

DOLLMAKER: Why yes! Yes, of course! (starts to ‘clean up doll’)

JANITOR: Well, it’s seen better days. Hardly much use of anything now.

DOLLMAKER: Nonsense! This doll has not yet begun to shine! Nobody, has thus far been able to care for it properly. Watch this! (DOLLMAKER touches back of doll and DOLL begins to dance around)

JANITOR: Wow! You know, I’d really like to take that home to my daughter. It would make a great toy.

DOLLMAKER: I won’t have it. This doll is far too valuable to be anybody’s mere toy. I designed it special. I put love into it. This doll is mine and I shall be the one to care for it from now on. (DOLL and DOLLMAKER exit)

Copyright 2006 by Eric Stapleton. All rights reserved.

[This is an excerpt from Excerpts from a Doll's Life by Eric Stapleton]

International Actress Sue Blough Comments on Characterization

Sue Blough is a former colleague of mine from my short time in an international repertory theater company called Covenant Players*. Watching Sue perform was a treat. Her total commitment to character was both incredible and inspiring to experience. Incredible, because of how much she was able to communicate about the characters she portrayed. Her performances were inspiring to young actors—like myself at the time—because of the work that she put into the performance to bring out the truth of the characters from the written page.

In my correspondence with Sue I have been able to glean not only some of the wisdom of a veteran Christian actress, but also a glimpse of what compels her. The many ways to go about character work all amount to what is necessary to be successful in any profession—work. When interviewing this energetic New Zealander, I originally was looking for some specific “how to” techniques and “how much work should one do or not do” etc. What I discovered was a taste of the passion that drives Sue to excel at her craft. The following is an excerpt from that interview.

E: Sue, how long have you been performing with Covenant Players?

Sue: Twenty-two years.

E: In that time, what has been the most fulfilling aspect of performing as an actress with Covenant Players apart from serving God?

Sue: Moments of truly living the role both in rehearsal and at the performance. By that I mean thinking character thoughts, responding and reacting to the other performers "in character.”

E: What’s a ball park figure of the number of roles you have portrayed during your time in Covenant Players?

Sue: I am not much of a counter/record keeper, but I will guess that I have performed over 600 roles.

[Wow!]

E: What has been your favorite role when performing or preparing? Tell me about the character and why you liked portraying that person?

Sue: Hard to choose but there are two roles in which I have experienced transcendent moments. One is the role of…Ann Boleyn. Chuck [Charles M. Tanner, author and founder of Covenant Players] has written several plays about Henry VIII and Anne Boleyn. I love rhetoric and Chuck's poetry is beautiful. He captures the tension and energy of this relationship powerfully in my estimation…my fellow actor’s ability to live in the moment and project another person's thoughts lifted me up. Our inter-relationship felt as dangerous and constricted, as I imagine it truly was, for Henry and Anne in those times.

E: Approximately how many hours (apart from actual rehearsal and line learning) you spend preparing for a role?

Sue: Depending on the size of the role and complexity of the character - probably anywhere between three to five hours outside of rehearsal.

E: That seems like a lot, what is your process?

Sue: Over the years I have synthesized what I do. First, I read the play several times over to figure out what is going on and who I am. I am looking for the things going on behind the lines and action as well as the obvious information. As I learn my lines and cues I try out gestures and character walks. I also consider the thoughts and motivations that will color the line reading and try breaking up the lines several different ways before settling on a reading. After the blocking rehearsal I continue to work on owning my lines and movement so it looks and sounds natural and spontaneous. Fast pickups and discovering the rhythm of the dialogue is important so I like to work outside of the set rehearsals with my fellow actors. Working on the texture of the relationships happens mostly inside the rehearsal, giving each other "character eyes" not just looking at the other actor and wondering what my line is! I try to live the moments. Then, with the help of the director I work at layering the performance, subtlety and timing, etc. Rehearsal is where I get my work out my head, or off the paper, and make it live and breathe. Then the magic of the performance happens. It's only been the privilege of performing a lot that has taught me to how control and use that mysterious injection of adrenalin that happens at that time. Actually acting, or being, is an ongoing process. You never fully arrive at becoming someone else. There are always more nuances to discover and embody. I find that exciting!

E: What do you think is the difference between acting a part and becoming the part?

Sue: Usually more of the audience is moved, challenged and provoked by the greater skill of becoming a part. You will see a difference when it comes to natural and spontaneous line delivery and movement. The eye communication (in responding and reacting to the other actors, to the lines and action in the play) will be electric and dynamic.

E: Which one is better, acting or becoming? Why?

Sue: Becoming. You are giving your audience and fellow performers a greater gift.

E: Do you think that it is possible to become so absorbed in the character that it negatively affects your attitude, behavior and/or social interactions outside the context of the script and/or rehearsal? Has that ever happened to you or anyone you know? Explain.

Sue: Yes, I think it is possible. I have seen people get carried away in rehearsal and performance. It has been set right by the sensitivity and courage of a fellow actor or director to confront the situation with love. These times are growing experiences and not ultimately detrimental. A performer must learn to differentiate between the script and real life, to put some boundaries on their imagination and research, and to trust the Lord to communicate what is needed. As both Christian and actress I long to experience the power of the play. I want it to affect me, not just the audience. I long to be challenged and ministered to on a personal level. My spiritual life thrives on creative situations such as those that are provided for in by acting and directing.

Eric: What is the cost in becoming a character? Please give personal examples.

Sue: The cost is work, time, concentration, effort, laying down inhibitions, being humble and malleable for and with your director and the other performers. It also means being reliable and consistent in rehearsals. I have had plenty of experience in being the "weak link" in the cast, or in supporting the "weak link". Then comes faith—before, during and after. Before you start, having faith or belief in yourself can make the difference between acting and becoming. This has to do with believing the Lord will work through you for His purposes. You are just being an available tool or vessel for his work. Faith during the process means having faith in the writer, director, other actors involved and afterwards trusting your audience to be smart, having faith that the Holy Spirit will work beyond whatever you do or don't do as a cast. All our work is nothing without the blessing and empowerment of the Holy Spirit. With it the work can be life-changing. I have learned these things through the hard knocks of my own inadequacies and the vagaries of circumstance. At times, I've been the one who hasn't worked on the lines enough so someone else has had to pick up when I've blanked. I have also learned to swallow my pride and help a fellow actor I privately deemed less "talented", only to discover that their performance is alive and fresh and impacting the audience, while I am coming across as studied and predictable - in other words I am giving a rote performance!

Sue’s performances, as I remember them, were never rote. Did you get a taste of the passion she has for her craft? I hope so. There is so much work involved in being excellent at any craft, but there can be so much joy in it also.

*Covenant Players is an international professional theater company. Founded in 1963, CP is now serving churches, schools, nursing homes, prisons and many other community groups throughout the world.

Worst Date Ever

OK, my wife digs ABBA...so this is my tribute to ABBA...

Proctor: Wow! You look great!

Abigail: Thank you. You too. I love that wide collar.

Proctor: Oh yeah. I dig the accent. Swedish?

Abigail: Yeah.

Proctor: Well, I've never done this before. I've dated a few women simultaneously but usually not with...

Abigail: ..them knowing about it?

Proctor: Right. Speaking of...where is your, um, friend.

Abigail: Inga had to freshen up.

Proctor: Yeah well, needless to say your ad got my attention, 2 girls for the price of 1.

Abigail: We're liberated we can share.

Proctor: Well, if she looks like you...

Abigail: People say I get my looks from her.

Proctor: Huh? What's that?

Abigail: Here she is...mom, meet our new boyfriend...where'd he go?

Cafeterianism

Patient: Doctor, I'm looking for something unique. Your list looks complete but--

Doctor: Well, take your pick.

Patient: I've already done my research though. I'm looking for God and I want religion but I want something different. I want the savior of Christianity but not the righteousness, I want the community aspect of Judaism but not the persecution, the fervor of Islam without the Jihad, the hipness of Buddhism but not all of the asceticism, what I want is—

Doctor: Cafeterianism.

Patient: Huh?

Doctor: You pick and choose which ideas you like. Instead of you being made in God's image, it's God made in your image.

Our Interview With Bill Stetson--Cowboy Hero in a Modern Age

DB: The bad guys are vanquished, you got the girl--with more of a struggle than the bad guys I might add-- put another key to the city on your ring and you've ridden off into the proverbial sunset. Just what are you going to do now?

BILL: Well lemme see. I could start a family, get inda debt puttin' up Walmart swingsets in the backyard of a cookie cutter house, get tired o’ all that, dump the wife and kids for another adventure and another sunset ‘cause beatin’ up bad guys is easy compared to commitment. Then I’ll write me a book about it. After that I will qualify for an appearance on Oprah, Dr. Phil or slum it on Jerry Springer.

DB: Oh.